Tears A Spamano Songfic
by aniloverji12
Summary: The history between Spain and Romano is complicated to say the least...


From Bottom Up : Tablo(ft. Bumkey)

watch?v=nsbjPeYbJn4 ^^ listen while reading

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_Oh even if all the tears in the world_

_Are welled up in my small eyes_

_I wish I could shed your tears as well_

Spain was at a loss for words.

He could feel tears prickle at his eyes, as he leaned down over Romano's shaking figure. He wished so badly he could cry for his dear Romano. And his heart hurt as he watched the hated tears fall down Roma's face. Pulling the Italian into an embrace, he started to whisper comforting words as he tried his best to wipe the droplets away. It was times like these where he truly felt like crying. His eyes closed as he tried desperately to make Romano stop. Putting on a smile, he whispered the good luck charm in the smaller man's ears," Remember the good luck charm, Roma. Fusososo~. Remember boss is still here."

_You just had to meet me when I was rock bottom_

_Whenever you smile, my heart aches_

_To me, everything is guilt, is that a half smile?_

_Perhaps, it was the smile withered from inability to comprehend the world_

_You say you're alright but, I guess I can only give you the state of being alright_

Romano cried his heart out at the words. How dare Spain see him like this when he was so weak. His eyes glazed with unshed tears, looked up to see the Spaniard's bright smile. He could feel his heart wretching in guilt. That wasn't Spain's smile. It wasn't wide enough, it wasn't bright enough. And it wasn't that stupid lopsided grin he got when he couldn't understand the situation. He gripped Spain's shirt tightly as he leaned in, the heaving sobs increasing. He could feel Spain whisper in his ear that he was alright, that everything is going to be alright. But he could feel more tears rising up… he was so pathetic. He felt guilty, Spain was the solid rock he leaned on when he became like this, but this meant Spain forced himself to be okay…to be strong for him…like back then…

_I hate reaching out with these small empty hands_

_Like a fool, I make your extended hand, an empty hand, too_

Even when Romano was young he always relied on Spain. He couldn't clean, couldn't cook, and couldn't be cute like his brother. But Spain, dear Spain, he was always the one leaning down to grab his small hands in his large ones. He could remember the words that always followed," It's okay, Roma. Boss will show you." He remember how he relieved he'd feel at the words. But… he knew it wasn't okay, he knew he was a burden. When Spain started coming home with cuts and open wounds, he remembered hating himself. Because he knew Spain, the only good person in his life, was getting hurt because of him. As he bandaged the wounds, muttering curse words under his breath, he felt Spain's comforting hand ruffling his hair. "Sorry to worry you, Roma. Boss is okay, si?" Romano snapped at words," I wasn't worried about you, you stupid tomato bastard." But inwardly his thoughts spoke," Why are you apologizing, idiota. This is my fault."

_Earlier, maybe later_

_Why couldn't have we met when there was good news?_

_You could have rested under the sunlight in a green forest_

_But now you walk with me in the rain under my rain cloud_

_My love, an unfortunate person, this isn't how my heart is_

_I didn't become your better half_

_So you could bear half of my misery,_

Time. He hated it. It ripped his family apart, taking away nonno, leaving fratello with that piano bastard. And it forced him under Antonio's care. He hated being an underling, he didn't want to learn stupid Spanish and he didn't want to listen to the Spanish bastard. But just when he started to bond with the idiot, against his will, time decided to rip him away too. Antonio would leave him behind, for months, at some point for years. And every time, the bastard would leave with a," Take care while I'm gone, Roma. Be careful and don't break anything. Boss will be back soon, okay. " he'd say with a smile as he petted Roma's hair. Romano remembered that after he came back, there was always a sad glint in his eyes.

One day, after a long trip, they was lying in the woods together, hiding from Spain's scary boss, the trees filtering the light to a green tint. And he remembered Antonio's speaking as he brought his small body closer," Did you know Roma? You make boss a better person, si. This is true." He would say, eyes clouded with a sad smile. And as Romano looked up at the smile,it started to rain, the droplets from the cloud reflecting the sad aura surrounding the two. This is where Roma's guilt began, as the rain fell, his mind fogged with one thought standing out," My sadness is moving onto Spain…it's my fault he's sad." The thought echoed in his mind, his young conscious not understanding it wasn't his fault. Time seemed to stand still at that moment, as Romano buried himself in Spain's chest; he vowed he'd keep his misery to himself.

_Oh even if all the tears in the world_

_Are welled up in my small eyes_

_I wish I could shed your tears as well_

_You just had to meet me when I was at rock bottom_

_The sound of your cries make my heart ache._

Spain could never understand why Romano always hid his tears. Whenever he'd catch little Romano crying it'd be in a dark corner somewhere. His face would be streaked with tears. And he always tried to comfort him, but he'd be pushed away with a loud protest," Leave me along, you tomato bastard. Go Away!" And Spain's heart twisted in worry, it was always like this. The Spaniard did what he could, by staying close and murmuring soft words. But it got to the point, where Romano would avoid him for days. No matter what he did if felt like Romano put up a solid wall between them. And at thoughts like these Spain could feel his heart sinking, he loved his Romano…he truly did. And he didn't think his heart could bear the harrowing sounds of Romano's cries.

Flash forward to the present, as he held the trembling Italian, Spain wondered how long it had taken Romano to cry in front of him like this. He also wondered why he had never been able to comfort Roma like this. Shaking his head, he leaned in and nuzzled his Tesoro(darling). It didn't matter anymore; all he cared about now was helping Romano smile again. He smiled softly as the soft sobs died down. Lifting his head he pecked kisses on Roma's cheeks, his hand moving to brush back the hair covering Roma's eyes. As the hazel eyes rose to look at him, he placed his lips on the Italian's chapped ones. His lips moved slowly, encouraging Romano to kiss back. As he felt Romano respond, he closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, savoring the moment.

_Even though I want to comfort you, I'm exhausted and my face grows dark_

_I can't make you laugh and I put you to bed, passed out from crying_

_My frozen two hands are your watch_

_What has crumbled is not mine but your future_

_But why is it when I see you are different when you wake up_

_I think of my own reality that hasn't grown a single inch_

_I'm sorry - even if I say it thousands of times, I'm sorry again_

_That this small room and this low ceiling is the sky_

_That I am your umbrella and the rain_

The scene changed to 1859. Romano stood in Spain's doorway, his clothes worn but his face proud and defiant. "España, fratello and I…we're going to fight for our independence." Spain's eyes widened," But…Roma you tried that already and you lost." Romano's eyes clouded with anger," Don't you think I know that! But I won't lose this time!" Spain's eyes softened as he brought the Italian closer in a hug," Alright, boss can't do much so be careful, cariñito(little darling). Austria will not go easy on you a second time." Romano pulled away," Like hell he'll go easy on me. We can take care of ourselves, idiota!" As he reached for the door, his hand froze; he looked back to a tearful Spaniard. Spain's voice echoed in the small room," Boss, will miss you." Romano sighed before shoving the door open and rushing out. He could feel a pain in his chest as he left the place he once called home. No that wasn't right, as he left the person he called home. Romano trudged through the darkened streets as his mind returned to Spain. To his recent economic hardships and how the Spain's future was starting to crumble.

He remembered how Spain had collapsed because of the military coup in Madrid. He had tried his best to make that damn idiota better, but there was nothing he could do. As he sat next to Spain's bed, not holding his hand mind you, Romano realized how little his reality had grown outside Spain's existence. Spain had sheltered him far too long. His mind flashing back to the memories, he stood up and looked at himself in a mirror. He saw a teenage Italian with a scowl on his face and he realized why he had grown, because it was time for his independence, time for him to grow to protect the ones he loved. His hands balled into fists as he remembered how he couldn't do anything for his fratello, his nonno, but this he could do. He could be a country; he could stand by and protect his fratello and Spain, and as far as he was concerned the rest of the world could go to hell. He smiled at his reflection, he might have brought Spain the rain, but now he could be the umbrella to protect him.

Rain falling brought Romano back to reality. As people rushed by to avoid getting wet, he made no move to quicken his pace. He lowered his head, his voice softly whispering," I'm sorry España…I'll miss you,too." But his confession was lost in the roar of thunder, and the deafening sound of falling raindrops.

_Goodnight, goodnight_

_Goodnight, goodnight_

_Goodnight, goodnight_

_Good morning_

_Baby I'll try_

_Someday, I will be happiness to you_

_Try_

_Someday, I'll be the best for you_

_Try_

_Today, it's just words but girl I'll try_

_Baby I'll try_

_Someday, I'll give the whole world to you_

_Try_

_If I can't, I'll change the world for you_

_Try_

_Today, it's just words but girl I'll try_

If there was anything that Romano knew for certain….

If there was anything that Spain knew for certain….

Was that…

Was that…

he'd do anything to change to world for him...

he'd do anything to make him happy…

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So that was a short Songfic I was requested to write, pretty sad huh? ...oddly I had fun writing it from Romano's point of view ^^

Please review and Fav ~~ and sorry if it was a tad chessy, you really shouldn't listen to korean dramas while writing ^^;


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